The Bear and the Maiden Fair. Or something.

I’m attending the Bear on the Square music festival in the small mountain town of Dahlonega, Georgia. Since I’m an idiot, I waited until last week to rent lodging, and had to settle for something that, while not too far from the town, is still pretty isolated. I thought I would enjoy a nice, quiet getaway, but now that I’m here, it’s a little too quiet. I mean I can’t hear a freakin’ sound. It’s like the tank in Altered States, but with bugs.

So of course, as a woman alone in the woods, my thoughts run to slasher movies. And now as nice as this little place is, I’m regretting renting a place where, should it come to that, it would take months to find my body.

And look what I just found in the kitchen:

I kid you not.

This is not helpful.

Good one, dude.

Good boy.

I’ll be right here waiting for you until you come home.

Or until I get bored with licking the window and decide to chase a cat and bark at the top of my lungs at him until he plays with me or lets me lick his entire head or something. Although those sofa cushions look kind of tasty, so I might just nibble on one of those for a while.

But I’ll be here, is my point.