All this can be yours.

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“Hello, ladies.”
Stop that.
“What? Just chatting with the ladies. And don’t you all look fine today.”
Iggy, you’re fixed.
“What does that mean?”
Well… how do I put this —
“No matter. We can discuss it later. So, ladies, you know what they say about dogs with big ears–”
Oh, Christ. DOWN, boy.

The fidelity of dogs.

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“Hi. I love you a lot.”

Aww, I love you too, Iggy!

“And I love Brian a lot.”

Well, Brian loves you a lot too.

“Did you meet the new next-door neighbors yet?”

I did.

“I love them a lot.”

Okay —

“And the guy that delivered the pizza on Friday night. I love him a lot.”

Yes, Iggy, I get it —

“And the UPS guy that stops here sometimes, I love him a lot, and there was this kid outside before, I saw him through the window, I love him a lot, and that woman that time at the dog park who filled the water bowl, I love her a lot, and there’s this other guy I heard of once…”

I feel special now.